


Let me photograph you in this light in case it is the last time

by aethita



Category: The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 03:17:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6178105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aethita/pseuds/aethita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>head canon where clarke claims lexa's red cape after her death and titus loses even more hair</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let me photograph you in this light in case it is the last time

**Author's Note:**

> mostly wrote this for myself just cause i had to let the sad out lol, i'm sorry it's rubbish

It’s been what Clarke feels like a century, but realistically it can’t have been that long cause there’s no light coming through the windows of Lexa’s bedroom. Somewhere along the way her legs have given out and she slowly slumped down on her knees, head now leaning against the side of Lexa’s bed. Her mind is clouded, thoughts flash by so quickly she can’t focus on any of them before they slip away, followed up by more agonizing ones.

She never bothers lifting up her head, never mind actually getting up. She’s heard Murphy trying to force the door open, unsuccessfully.

Murphy.

His presence rather silent but heavy in the room. If it hadn’t been for him perhaps Lexa would still be alive.

The moment the thought crosses her mind Clarke knows that it’s not true, Murphy has done numerous awful things, but he isn’t responsible for what happened, nor is Titus, not really anyway.

Not long ago she wouldn’t have been so considerate, it’s always been easier to blame someone in order to cope with pain. She thinks of Wells, of her mom, and her chest tightens even more she’s forced to take a deep breath. But if Lexa has taught her anything in the past few weeks is that we all do what we think is best for us and for the ones we love.

She doesn’t know if it’s due to the current general sensation of numbness but she can’t bring herself to hate anyone, anyone but herself.

 

When she hears the door open her head remains where it is, her body doesn’t move an inch.

 

“Wanheda” Titus walks in, two guards behind him. He shifts his gaze from her to Murphy then back to her.

 

It takes everything in her to stand up on her legs.

 

“You have to leave, immediately. You’ll find horses waiting for you. A trikru will follow behind to make sure nobody attacks you.”

 

“You can’t do that.” her voice comes out low and menacing. “I want to be at the ceremony.”

 

“I will not allow that.” he speaks calmly “Lexa-“ his voice breaks and he shifts from one foot to the other “I have to stand by the commander’s last wish. You can’t risk being seen in Polis, that would be dangerous”

 

Clarke doesn’t say anything, because fighting this isn’t worth it. She nods towards Murphy instead who takes the hint and exists the door following one of the guards.

 

“So, Aden…” she attempts.

 

“The spirit will chose for itself”

 

“Yeah right” she spits under her breath.

 

She spots red, it’s Lexa’s armor sprawled across one of the couches at the far end of the room.

Her stomach clenches as she walks towards it. She can tell it’s just been recently cleaned, the cape’s stainless and bright red. You lean down and detach the cape from the shoulder piece. “I’m taking this” you say, Titus comes down from his thoughts and looks at her.

 

He opens his mouth to say something, but whatever it is, it dies on his tongue. He watches as she struggles to drape it over her shoulder and fails miserably trying to get it to stay in place.

 

“It’s the shoulder piece that keeps in place.” he approaches her slowly. “Here, let me help”

 

She averts her gaze as he pins the cloth to her shirt, unable to look at him and he makes no effort to look at her either.

 

“You must go”

 

She doesn’t hear his words though, her eyes travel across every small thing across the room. Trying to take everything in, engrave it in her memory, because she knows she’ll never be here again, she knows she’ll never share this bed with her again, she’ll never feel the sunlight through the window warming her skin again, making her feel alive— she doubts she’ll ever even be able to sleep again.

 

Clarke hurriedly collects her scattered things around the room including the drawing she'd made of Lexa and follows the other guard out of the room and to the horses.

 

* * *

 

When she exit the gates of the city she turns around to take one last look at Polis and she see smoke in the distance, everything around her is unbelievably silent except for the sound of the horns, loud and clear.

 

She pulls at the red cape moving it over her head as she had seen the commander do on multiple occasions and for a moment she’s overwhelmed by the gesture, closes her eyes and tries to ignore the familiar smell the cape stills holds.

 

“ _Rosh op, heda_ ” she whispers under her breath.

 

She turns around only to catch Murphy staring at her again. She ignores him and softly hits her heel to the horse.

 


End file.
